FR#47: Discussion of Frame and Ego Destruction

2010-01-26 Tuesday

Union Square, Barnes and Nobles, Gal

Angel White Rose, Rufio, AltEgo

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Monday night was a forced rest night - a friend needed a favor.

Over the past few days, approaching has been difficult; attractive women would lead me to question myself: "What if the approach is all I have? What if I cannot take things further?"

Tuesday night felt quite different. Was it AltEgo's AA that helped me step up? Was it Sunday night's rejection that deflated my ego? Or is my recovery fickle and temporary? I can't say, nor does it matter much.

When I first met Rufio, I often felt suffocated by his frame. Over the past weeks, many difficult things have happened in Rufio's life. Perhaps his frame weakened and this is why I no longer felt so oppressed around him.

As of now, Rufio is back to his old self, and again I feel the weight of his frame when I am around him. It is good that he has found himself again. It is even better that I can now deal with it. I am glad to see that PU has given me more strength.

Last night, I did 12 approaches. I missed several opportunities, but less than in the previous days. On the subway, I let one 9 pass. On the platform, a long haired, young PUA opened her and was blown out. This is probably how far I would have gotten. Rufio then goes in and talks with her for several minutes.

Over the past weeks, I had begun to think I had a lot of Rufio. I could approach when he could not. I could get make outs and dances and all that. He was just in a funk. Not only can he do those things, but he also has incredible rapport building skills. For a moment, I feel disappointed in myself for being at a loss conversationally. On second thought, I am glad to know my sticking point and am glad to know that I am working on correcting it.

We met up in Union Square. AltEgo and I did some approaches, Rufio forced AltEgo into some others. AltEgo did his first direct approach and was suffocating in his AA. If Rufio or I had not been there, that would have been it, but we pushed him into sets. By the end of the night, he said he was surprised how sets were not as bad as he thought they'd be.

Later, we met with Angel White Rose and did a few sets in McDonald's on the way from B&N

In Soho, on the way to Masseuse Club, we randomly stepped into a bar - Gal. The place did not card, so AltEgo got in. We did several sets. Rufio stayed there as we tried Masseuse Club. They carded, so we got some food instead. Later Rufio rejoined us.

Yesterday was also my first day canvassing for a bar back position. I handed out 20 resumes yesterday. Tonight (Wednesday), I have class, but tomorrow I plan to give out 50 resumes. Fuck you, unemployment.