FR#29: Grinding, Upscale Dance Parties, and Whale Tails

Date: 2009-12-14 Monday

Places: Spitzer's; Sway Lounge; Park; Highline Ballroom

Time: 5h

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Rufio (named for his Filipino-ness) swings by my apartment before we walk down to Spitzer's to meet Lupin at 10 PM. Spitzer's is not very crowded tonight - mostly guys. We chat for half an hour and Lupin relates to us his harrowing Halloween adventures and his drama with a Singaporean woman. Finally, I tell the two of them that we need to find a better venue so we can open sets. We head for the Sway Lounge, a place Rufio has been mentioning that is rumored to be poppin' on Sundays.

We go in and the place is not too crowded. Lupin and I are about to leave, but Rufio insists we wait it out. Rufio goes around opening anyone and everyone - for him, it really is not just about the girls. I need to start opening entire clubs as well.

We sit in the back of the club and I tell Lupin that we need to do something. He points to a group of dancing Black girls. I exhale, stand up, and we go.

I zero in on my target - a cute girl wearing blues and blacks, though I never really see her face. I grab her, pull her to me, and we're grinding back-to-front. I turn the girl around so we are grinding front-to-front with her arms around me. I put my hand on the back of her neck and she complies. At this point, I should have gone for a make out even in front of her friends, but I lose my nerve. I ruffle her hair and eject. Always push boundaries.

Lupin meanwhile grabs a girl dressed in a tan blouse - the best dancer of the group and mega-cute, but he does not know how to handle her and ejects. Later, we see a guy grab her ass and dry hump her. I guess that's how it's done!

We find new seats closer to the dance floor. Rufio is still going around pumping social proof where as Lupin and I are still choding about. We walk through the club, then Lupin pushes me at an Indian girl. I try to open her the same way I opened the Black girl, but I am rejected. We decide to leave, but Rufio is caught between several sets, one of which contains the Indian girl. Lupin is handsome, but I feel like there is something else to him - as if he has a nimbus like some PUAs talk about that just attracts everyone's attention. Suffice it to say, it works on the Indian girl who opens Lupin. She gives him her number and although he needs to get up early, he decides to head with us to Park.

Park is closed, but on the way we see the Highline Ballroom. Three girls in dresses and high heels are walking toward the club and we push Rufio into set and tell him to open with Apocalypse. Uncharacteristically of him, Rufio slowly walks up. "He looks like a stalker," comments Lupin. Rufio is hardly ever creepy like this - usually he runs into sets like these. He opens and is blown out. Using the apocalypse on a three set on their way into a club takes mad balls and may very well be impossible to pull off consistently, so ten points to Rufio for doing it. I prefer this kind of Pick Up: It is not always about learning to get the girl. Sometimes, it is about growing balls of steel.

After Park, Lupin and I want to check out Gansevoort, but Rufio insists on Highline.

Highline is precisely the image in my head of the typical awesome nightclub - except that it is filled with guys in suits and girls in dressed. Both Lupin and I like it, though Rufio cannot accept this kind of crowd. He says he can't dig the kind of girl who gets her dress from Kmart. Fashion nerds - got to love 'em. It is more than that though. The club is very homogeneous - almost all whites and Jewish people and to Rufio, that is a major turn off. At one point, we are seated and a cute brunette tries to get Rufio to dance. He literally turns his nose up, frowns at her, puts up a hand, and says, "Uh-uh." Later, Rufio admits that he feels bad about it, that he should use the opportunity for practicing sexual escalation. He says that when he does find a girl who meets his standards, he acts different with that girl - takes up a scarcity mentality - making it difficult for him to get the girls he likes. If he can learn to roll with other types of girls, Rufio thinks that he will have an easier time being non-needy with his type of girl.

Although I take a liking to Highline - it is the most upscale place I have ever been to - from the moment I step in, I feel chode. Perhaps the feeling had started before. Sometimes, when I am with people with strong frames, I start feeling more and more lame. I think this is happening to me with Lupin and Rufio and it is a terrible feeling - much worse than a bad rejection. What is the solution? Perhaps I need to go Lone Wolf a couple days a week instead of spending each night out with other PUAs. Either way, I know I cannot give into the negative feelings. I need to persevere and keep going out. I am sure taking improv classes will help. The Upright Citizens Brigade is supposedly offers the best classes around, but they are booked out until February. Should I sign up with the Pit as Lupin did? Maybe, but perhaps I can stand to wait another month. In the meantime, I will go through some routines manuals to try to improve my banter.

We leave the Highline Ballroom shortly after entering and go to The Diner for food. In the next booth is a three set - two blonds and an Indian girl. One of the girls has a major whale tail. Rufio goes over an opens with "Excuse me, but you guys are distracting me." They seem very surprised by the approach and dumbfounded, do not really respond to him. As Rufio returns to our table, though, the girls giggle and whisper about what just happened. Rufio is completely turned off and wants nothing to do with them anymore and I forget about them until I notice one of the girls looking and smiling at me. I make a face at her and she returns it. Confused, Lupin turns and says, "What?" with a little too much force. The girl freaks out and gets pissed off, so Lupin goes over. The girl tells Lupin that she "comes in peace," and Lupin leaves confused.

We forget about the girls for sometime, but as I am facing them directly and so see them bantering, pointing, and stealing glances at us, I get distracted. Finally, I go over and sit in their booth and ask them what happened between them and Lupin. Most probably, these girls wanted validation - which I was perhaps giving them with my tone. Their bill comes and they head out, and that's the end of the night.

FR#28: Spaniards, Hipsters, and PUAs - Oh my!

Date: Week of 2009-12-06, Tuesday through Saturday

Places--

T: 23rd and 6th Ave; Union Square; Gansevoort

W: Empire; Starbucks; Rose

R: Random places

F: Empire, Spitzers, Yummy Noodles

S: The Park, Gansevoort, Pop Burger

Time--Long time

---

Past two days have been fun. I went out with Whisp to day game. We met up at 23rd and 6th Ave, which was not very target rich, then walked down to Union Square.

It was the first time we went out together and since I have been chode mode recently, I was extra shy to approach. My first real attempt was when Whisp literally threw me at two girls. I completely chickened out after following them for two seconds, but after that I did a couple approaches. He ended up treating me to a special German drink the name of which I forget. It is cheap wine cooked with spices - although what we had was nonalcoholic.

Overall, it was a pretty lame sarge attempt, but I am back out there now instead of choding around at home.

Later in the evening, I met up with Rufio and tried to hit up Gansevoort. On this rainy and cold Tuesday, hardly anyone was in the lounge, so we booked it then called it a night.

Wednesday, I finally got my clandestine voice recorder key chain. My sarges are now recorded!

Later, I went to Empire to meet up with Whisp and a guy who contacted me through my NYCSarge Blog named Marko. We had planned to arrive at 10 PM, but when I arrived, I found out Empire was booked with a private party until 11 PM. I stood oustide the Starbucks around the corner from Empire to call Marko and Whisp only to discover both had to cancel last minute.

I entered Starbucks to wait until 11 PM and while in line met a gorgeous Thai woman and an NYC guy. They had just come from a Julliard ballet performance; they dance ballet themselves. Although they were on their way out, we had a great chat for about half and hour and I double number closed.

I then received a text from Rufio that there was a party in Brooklyn at Rose. The DJ was awesome - Veronica Vasicka. I will definitely try to find her sets around the city.

Rose: dark-lit, thick with the body heat of a hundred hipsters wiggling and bouncing their hipster dances, PBRs strewn about the tables. Like everywhere, you had your wall flowers, but most people on the dance floor were ripping it up. It may be early to say, but Rose is one of my favorites.

Before we left, Rufio pushed me to move through the dance floor to open every set I passed. I did it and he said it looked great and later on, I was opened by who I thought was the hottest girl on the floor - a tall blond with a boyfriend - because she had seen how I was going up to people. Oddly enough, I felt very lukewarm about how I opened those sets because I mostly discussed the music playing. Banter is my main issue now, but I am working on it and I am improving.

After, Rufio , Dark Nes, and I tried to bounce to Manhattan, but ended up grabbing some Chinese food near Bowery and Canal.

I am getting the feeling that when I am with Rufio and Lupin, whenever I talk about myself, I am a bit pessimistic. First of all, narcissism is not very attractive. Second, the only way to go is overly optimistic. Lupin is very inspiring, is good at leading us around, etc. That is what I want. So from tonight, my first goal will be to stop bashing myself. My other goals are approaching in volume, approaching difficult sets, and making interactions sexual.

Thursday night, I had Capoeira until late, then came back home and twiddled around until I went out to meet up with Rufio and Lupin. The night was pretty much done, so we had a powwow at Yummy Noodles.

I realized recently my face is a bit rounder than usual. I need to stop eating out so much! Maybe Rufio's right and I should get a Man-Bag and fill it with awesome edibles like peanut butter and humus. Man, I am so hungry right now...

Friday night, Lupin, Bob, Christian, and I tried for Empire, but as a large group of guys, we could not get in. I met a man who played basketball for Spain while in line so he came along. As we entered the subway, Christian remembered he needed to buy a metro card. The basketball player handed me his metro card saying I should give it to Christian, hopped the turnstile, and we never heard from him again.

We met up with Rufio around 12th Street who took us to an NYU party that was winding down. After some of us used the bathroom, we left, but Rufio headed home for the night. The rest of us went down to Spitzers, which completely salvaged the night. We opened several sets, even Christian, who is not (yet) into Pick Up.

Saturday night, Lupin, Bob, and I tried The Park, but at 10 PM, it was still in restaurant mode. Apparently, it converts to a nightclub at midnight, so next time we'll have to get in at 11:30 PM. We headed to Gansevoort, which was an absolute circus. Everywhere I turned were two or three PUAs on the prowl. At one point, I thought I'd have some fun opening guys with lines like: "So, how did you guys get into the Game?" or "Did you see those two girls fighting outside?" My PUA Radar is 100% accurate - it must be the haunted, prowling look in their eyes. I hope I don't wear that look, though I am afraid I do.

Other than number closing two PUAs, Lupin, Bob, and I opened several sets, including a bachelorette party where we enjoyed homemade penis cake. Yum, yum.

Afterward, we grabbed food from Pop Burger where the milkshakes run thick and the veggie burgers are invisible...or that's what they call them anyways.

Full of fast food, we tried Park again, even though it was about 4 AM. The place was closed, of course, but we bumped into two British PUAs (one of whom had constituted my second number close at Gansevoort) and a cute blond they had pulled. Finally, Bob dropped us off at our places (it's nice to have a car...or a friend with a car).

This week felt so long, but it was a lot of fun. Today is Monday. Wish me luck.

FR#27: First Day Two

Date: 2009-11-24 Thursday

Place--Landmark Sunshine Cinema, Saint's Alp Teahouse

Time--1:30

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I had a day two with one of the girls Rufio and I met after the art show from a couple sarges back. I had not been hugely attracted to her then - nothing changed about that - but she is a cool person.

The cinema we went to has movies no other cinema in my immediate area is playing, all of which received great ratings on Rotten Tomatoes. Check out the theater if you're in the area.

After the movie, we went to St Alps for drinks, then after about an hour, back to my place where we just chatted. After more time, I took her to the subway. Later that night, I told Rufio that dates are boring. He noted they would not be boring if things we sexually charged. I still cannot say I am a big fan of them - hanging out and doing fun stuff with a group of people is more fun.

Inner Game: Self-Reflection

Over the past few years, I have begun to feel that I have depression. My family has a history of it, which affirms the belief. However, discussions with my father have led me to believe that traditional remedies are not the most effective. You see, when someone is unhappy or frustrated, we often point to factors in that person's life as the cause. However, when someone is clinically depressed, we point to the person's chemistry as the cause. While there may be genetic issues that lead to chemical imbalances, all feelings - anger, frustration, happiness - are chemical reactions within us. Our very thoughts and emotions are only chemicals floating around in our bodies and electricity firing through organic wiring. What is more, often all that is needed is a psychological change, a change in perception, and how we feel and think can change. A change of frame can make an awful day awesome. Meditation can even turn the anguish we feel from physical pain into to calm acceptance. Thus, I feel we often have it within ourselves to overcome psychological difficulties - we need not turn to medication.

Recent studies have suggested that the most effective cure for depression are things like exercise, work, studies. I believe there is a deeper message to the claims of these studies. Instead, I feel it is action that cures, the feeling of moving with purpose. Most importantly, it is being able to look back to see that our actions have created something.

Years ago, watching TV for hours or playing video games would leave me with an empty, listless feeling, where as writing a paper that took me on some sort of mental journey gave would make me feel good.

I do not feel this is only my experience. Many people have told me they feel fulfillment when they can point to something they feel is worthwhile and say, "It was I who did that."

For eons, life has been about action and instincts - not about thought. Thinking absolutely has immense value, but it can also be addictive, distracting, and self-destructive. I have many friends who spend so much time studying that it seems to me they have absolutely no perspective on what they are doing.

Rufio recently introduced me to Eckhart Tolle. He speaks of similar ideas about thinking and analysis. Eckhart feels that so much thought destroys our wisdom. I feel it is true. Also, so much stimulus from the media, from books, from everything, also distracts us and destroys our wisdom.

I am still a bit confused by all this, and I feel lost in many ways. I have recently started watching Battlestar Galactica and other movies, which has really distracted from the important things in my life and has allowed me to slip into an overstimulated, overly-thoughtful depression.

Anyway, I have always felt lost. I have always been too lost in thought for my own good. I have lots of faults and bad habits, in particular procrastination and the inability to see things through. These two faults occur because I get distracted easily by pointless crap in my life, and this in turn leads me to feeling sluggish and unmotivated.

Again, I feel action is the cure. Before I take action, there is this strange feeling of inertia inside of me, but those times when I overcome it, I feel incredible, impassioned, and the people around me tell me they can feel it.

Maybe, as Eckhart suggests, meditation - the state of mind he calls Stillness - will also help. He mentions being bored. Maybe I should put aside time everyday when I do absolutely nothing, become bored, and try to not let my mind run off with thoughts.

This blog has had some angst in it. I may not be perfect, but there is more action and less mulling about in my life than ever before. My chode periods are shorter than they used to be, and my good periods are longer. The day will come when I am on the other side of this tunnel - I know it.

Maybe most of you will read this and think to yourselves, "Wow, Sparrow is kind of weird...I'm definitely better off than this guy." I hope so because if I can achieve my personal goals, then you definitely can as well.

Some of those who read this blog may already be where they want to be and may think I am being melodramatic. I urge you to look around. Most people are seriously frustrated with their lives. They have the tools and opportunities necessary to turn everything around, yet their lives will not change for the better.

I am no worse off than most people - in fact I am probably better off. Thank the gods for that - and good night. It's fracking late.

FR#26: How Cupcakes Changed My Life

Date: 2009-11-24 Tuesday

Place--Chelsea, Chelsea Cupcakes, Belgian Bar

Time--10:00

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Rufio and I meet up near his office. He is looking for several cupcake places, the addresses of which he had stored on his camera. Not really prepared for an adventure, I am not wearing my contacts, so on the way to Chelsea Cupcakes, Rufio serves as my eyes, pointing out pick up targets.

I botch every approach. In particular, here is how one goes:

"Hey, I thought you looked cute and had to talk with you."

"Wow, really? That's so cool." The girl wobbles as I grope for something else to say.

"Uh, let's see...hey, let's get some falafel!" I say as I glance around and see a Mediterranean restaurant across the street.

"That'd be great, but honestly, there was this party at work and I'm kind of drunk."

Recently, conversation has been dying on me. Recently, approach anxiety and opening has become a huge hurdle - bigger than before. Over the past few weeks, I have been going out a little less, and I have had my reasons for doing so. Most of these reasons are just lame excuses though. Acting chode has made me chode - we are what we do. I am facing relapse.

I remember the feeling of walking through the bakery's doors. I feel as if I am entering a vacuum, as if I had been walking underwater all this time and now some great weight had been lifted from me. All the thoughts I had in my head were like a swamp of syrup, but I just snapped

out of it and was acting.

I am speaking with this girl - fashion designer- and her friend - playwright- shakes my hand, mistaking me for someone else. We take our food and I sit with them - imposing on them really, but I plow ahead anyhow. Somehow, Fashion Designer is inviting me to grab dinner with them. I look over and Rufio is chatting up a couple from Germany. We merge the groups and head out together, first to Belgian Bar, then to Korea Town, then to a wine bar on the lower side, then back to my place to hang out, drink more wine, talk.

An aside: Belgian Bar has awesome beer - Belgian, German, and all those good nationalities. I highly recommend the place.

I hate to summarize it so, because it was my best night out. Seven of us in total - all awesome people. I had little difficulty connecting with most of them on some level, except for Fashion Designer.

In Belgian Bar, I sit next to Fashion Designer. I had been trying to build rapport with her all along, but could not. Make "I statements" they say. Talk about your feelings, your perceptions - after all, that's all you know of the world. Several people, including Rufio, have said this is a good way to connect to make the interaction seem familiar. In other words, when friends converse, they do not probe and ask questions but instead make statements about their own life.

I try to make these "I statements," but Fashion Designer does not open up. In Belgian Bar, I continue to try to connect with her, when suddenly, Rufio starts talking with her. He began speaking about photography - something she enjoyed - but also other things. He monologues, often times looking away, as if he is speaking not to pull her into conversation, but just to speak.

I turn to enter the adjacent conversation, but turn back and just watch him. Rufio had hardly spoken with Fashion Designer, yet here he is building instant rapport.

I cannot comment much on rapport building. I can only say that I feel it is a skill that can be developed through time, through being interested in and learning about different things, through being observant and talking with many people, and through making statements about your thoughts to other people.

Another interesting aspect of the night is one of the women of our group - the German. Throughout the night, she kept coming back to me, striking up conversation, asking me questions, giving me kino and IOIs. I wondered if she had been attracted to me, as I did not feel she did this with other people in the group. Finally, though, I think she just has a very...special frame of mind. She is very giving, genuinely interested, yet not at all needy. She is the kind of woman that makes men wonder if and hope that she is attracted. Imagine if the women you met were not entirely sure if you felt attraction for them, but deeply hoped that attraction was there.

So, I forget why this night changed my life. I am a bit too tired right now to think much about it. Maybe it was the simple awesomeness of it, or seeing how Rufio so quickly built rapport, or observing that very unique girl from Germany.

Anyhow, the next day, I left for New Jersey for Thanksgiving. Upon returning, I went out to hang with Rufio. I tried some approaches, but found myself consumed by anxiety. Ah, I feel I am going backward. Really, my mindset has been weak for the past several days - I have just felt so lazy.

Ahh...continued in my next blog.

Inner Game: Pieces of the Puzzle

MasterP encouraged me to record the important points of our conversations on my blog. I believe this is so important that I am sticking a link to this in a place of prominence.

Below is an amalgamation of ideas, principles, and goals I have come by, whether through conversations with friends (MasterP and Rufio are major contributors), through my readings, or through my own experience.

================

This is an outline. I'll update this as I develop these ideas tomorrow and over the next few months.

Status

In life, we must view ourselves as worthy - or dare I say, more than worthy.

Posture

Our posture must be powerful and confident. Walk with a happy and confident swagger. Stand with your chest out, back straight, chin level or up. Your weight should be mostly on one foot and your stance should be wide - this displays comfort and security.

Composure

Always keep your cool. You must be able to keep your composure under pressure. When you recognize that you are getting nervous, use a technique to center yourself.

Affirmations

Create recordings of affirmations or listen to motivational speakers who give affirmations. This will keep you motivated and help you focus.

Areas where I need to focus:

Delivery

Another way of putting this is calibration.

Mindset

This goes along with affirmations. I need the proper mindset. Be not just optimistic but over-optimistic. The example MasterP used was I think Warren Buffet, who as a poor working kid was losing sleep due to worry. When asked why, he responded that he was concerned how is kids would spend the billions he would earn.

Cocky/Funny

I am not quite sure how to do this. Time to read DiAngelo!

Storytelling

Everything you say must be colorful, suspenseful, etc. There are books on this.

Inner Game: Pieces of the Puzzle FULL

MasterP encouraged me to record the important points of our conversations on my blog. I believe this is so important that I am sticking a link to this in a place of prominence.

Below is an amalgamation of ideas, principles, and goals I have come by, whether through conversations with friends (MasterP and Rufio are major contributors), through my readings, or through my own experience.

============

This is a work in progress.

I tentatively categorize these ideas into layers:

>Spirituality

>>Relationship with Environment

>>>

Hm, this looks an awful lot like Tim's Flawless Natural setup.

The below principles can apply to all social interactions.

1. Spirituality

These ideas deal with core belief and mindset. Often times, if these principles are in place, many aspects of Mechanics - the way to act and speak - will take care of themselves.

Status

Spirituality:

In life, we must view ourselves as worthy - or dare I say, more than worthy.

Effect on Reality:

Why is this important?

A girl wants a man of equal or greater value. Why would she settle for any less?

We men spy that beautiful woman across the floor and want in. We compliment, buy drinks, offer dates, and even deny our sexuality. The woman already stands upon her pedestal.

Traditional Pick Up tactics are a reaction to the above wretched and needy sentiments. The man endeavors to:

1) Lower the woman's value through back-handed compliments, mild insults, and teasing - Negs.

2) Raise his own value through high value stories and behaviors - Demonstrations of Higher Value (DHV).

In reality, there is a more powerful mindset: We are of high value. The women we meet is of uncertain value. Her beauty attracted your attention, but beauty is superficial - is this girl awesome enough to experience the adventure that is you? Will she contribute? If so, does she sexually and romantically meet your standards, or is she friend material? Be like the Agnostic when dealing with women - do not assume anything.

The woman must feel she has to prove herself to you. She must feel that you are not easy, otherwise she will not value your interest in her. Furthermore, conversation will be created as the woman qualifies herself to you. Other names for this technique is breaking

The more woman you experience deeply, the higher your standards will become and the more your qualification will be sincere.

If not, politely wish her a good night.

Posture:

Stand with your back straight and chest out. Keep your level or up a bit. Walk with a confident swagger.

Composure:

Always keep your cool. You must be able to keep your composure under pressure. When you recognize that you are getting nervous, use a technique to center yourself. I was encouraged to find my own techniques - well, I have some ideas.

---------------

Affirmations:

One technique is to create recordings of affirmations or listen to motivational speakers who give affirmations. This will keep you motivated and help you focus.

Areas where I need to focus:

Delivery:

Another way of putting this is calibration.

Mindset:

This goes along with affirmations. I need the proper mindset.

FR#25: Conquering Superficial Near-Terminal One-itis and Other Stories

2009-11-23 Monday

Title: Conquering Superficial Near-Terminal One-itis and Other Stories

It has been about twenty days since my last field report. I suppose a mixture of laziness, fixing up my apartment, and everything else in my life has kept me busy.

In the past twenty days, I have not sarged as much as I would have liked. I went out maybe only ten or so times, maybe a little less. Now that I'm fairly settled and that I have my internet connection up and running finally, I will come back to my journal and networking blogs.

Okay - the past two weeks:

Due to sarging late and early morning responsibilities, most of the first week is completely buzzed out; I can hardly remember much.

I know it is really basic, but sleep is so important. You may be able to operate on little sleep - Doctors and crazy students do it - but you will not be able to evaluate and reflect on what is going on. Self-reflection is just as important as being productive. If you are too busy or too tired to step back and reflect on your life, then you are just one step removed from the rest of the animal kingdom. Be human - take the time to think about yourself and what is going on in your life. Always sleep and always take the time to just sit and think. Keeping a blog/journal also helps!

So, the first week, I spent most of my time moving between Queens and Manhattan taking care of odds and ends - I didn't sarge much except for random subway game and a couple numbers.

Rufio invited me out to a concert. His cousin attended whom he encouraged me to sarge. She's a really nice girl, very pretty, and we all hung out for several hours afterward. Her response to me was pretty luke-warm. I came off a bit creepy and try-hard, especially because we spent such a long period together.

Rufio knew one of the organizers and by the end of the night, we met up with the band mates and organizers in a bar midtown. Rufio's cousin ended up going home with someone else and I, who had tried so hard to sarge her all night, couldn't see past her - feeling our interaction deteriorate put a major damper on my night. I am beginning to take everything way too seriously and it's affecting my game.

On another night, Rufio and I head out. Eventually, we meet up with Lupin at Pianos and get hit on by a flamboyant, homosexual Spaniard who hangs out at our table for fifteen minutes with two of his friends. Later, on the subway home, Rufio and I are half-asleep when a beautiful black woman walks in. She has an umbrella and wears rain boots that look like a page out of those Magic Eye books from when I was little. That's how I open her. We go back and forth until she turns full-on towards me and I get a good glimpse of her eyes, which are the prettiest I have ever seen - a strange swirl of greens, blues, browns, and grays. I forget what I am staring as I look into her eyes for a moment before snapping to. I tell her she has pretty eyes - later, Rufio pointed out that I should have told her exactly how I felt about her eyes, and I agree that it might have made her night.

She looked away for a second and I asked her about her dyed hair as I stroked it. She grinned and called me "fresh," but otherwise did not seem creeped out. Suddenly, our stop came and we had to leave. Even as we took the stairs up from the platform, the girl waved good bye from the train window. I wish I had number closed her.

Last week while out with MasterP and James at the Pool, I spied a seated two-set. MasterP saw me looking and pushed me in. Meanwhile, another guy entered the set and gave me isolation to work the girl I fancied - an adorable Korean girl who came to America to study English.

I walked in and gave her my hand. "I'm Sparrow." She was taken aback at first, but took my hand and smiled. I sat down and starting chatting with her. Though the conversation was a bit stale, I kinoed heavily - touching her shoulder, her thigh a little, then her shoulder. Eventually, I just took her hand and said, "Let's dance."

She follows me through the club, and although I suck at dancing, it goes fine. She pulls a way a little bit, but I put my arms around her and she reciprocates. I go in for a kiss and she gives me her neck, giggles, and squeezes my hand.

We sit down again near her friend and she is practically sitting on top of me, touching my arms and hands, and letting me stroke her hair and massage her as we talk. I go in for kisses a couple more times, but I think in such a public place, she is too shy. After about an hour, I tell her that I'm planning on getting some food somewhere and I suggest that she comes with me. Although her friend is occupied by someone, my girl declines. We had exchanged numbers long before, so I tell her I'm leaving, but stall out and talk with her a bit. She mentions my name again, and I feel she is trying to see if I remember hers, which I do not. She immediately is turned off and tells me good night, though she gives me a really big hug.

Moral of the story:

Be very aggressive with kino and never forget a girl's name.

This Korean girl really cast a spell on me. I was so sad after leaving her even though the night had gone well. It has been more than a week since that night and even still, most women just do not seem so attractive anymore and I feel really unmotivated. Also, ever since that day, the women that I do find attractive are mostly Korean women. Before this girl, I was like this, but now my Yellow Fever is worse!

I think my obsession comes from my time spent with Korean students in school. Though I had several Korean friends, they were still very cliquey and would always revert to Korean amongst themselves even if I was there - maybe because that's how they are, but probably because I was too chode to command major respect. Everything about these Koreans I knew gave them a feeling of exclusivity, like they were all playing hard-to-get. The result is a strong desire to penetrate the culture and get involved with the most hard-to-get among them - the women.

These sentiments are not terribly healthy and are a bit creepy! I wonder whether I should ignore these feelings or give into them so that I can get over them.

The next night, I go out with MasterP and James to the Pool again. I get blown out a couple times and we head to another place that sells burgers in the front, but is a bar in the back.

After choding for a few minutes, I decide AA is for bitches and walk into a back room where a birthday party is wrapping up. I introduce myself to a girl as I sit down and we start talking. I eventually get her to come with me and try to get her to go into a tiny, curtained-off room. She freaks out and I take her back to the party as I explain the room to her. Earlier, James had nudged me into this room where awkward 50's Porn plays on a tiny television - very classy.

Anyway, the girl forgives me, but now I sort of want to drag a girl to that room even though it's kind of creepy.

I come back out and open a three set of blonds, or maybe James and MasterP had already opened them? MasterP and I stay in the set for a while, but eventually James disappears home. I am surprisingly doing really well conversationally and I have two of the girls throwing me compliments and sexual innuendo. I want to take one home and I think I could have. My place doesn't have a bed though, and she is staying with her friend and is leaving the next day to go back home. Soon, I'll have my place and logistics will not be an issue.

After that night, all my sarges have been characterized by mostly weirded out girls and blow outs. I went out with Lupin and a female friend of his who wants to be more social. I felt like we sort of hit it off a tiny bit, but I was more chode than not. A few days later when she was supposed to come out again, Lupin had left and I tried to get this girl to meet me at my place and was full-out rejected.

What really confuses me was that a few nights before, she had made out with a random guy and had asked him to come back with her. Strangely enough, she was rejected, but I definitely think the guy had no clue about women because this girl is really pretty. I have no idea what that says about my being rejected, but oh well.

Anyhow, on this night out, I do some approaches, but nothing really happens. Lupin approaches two Israeli girls. I find neither attractive, so although I try to sarge one of the girls, I have difficulty forcing myself to escalate. Without realizing, though, I am giving Lupin good isolation and he ends up making out with his girl. Later, Lupin tells me he asks the girl to go back to his place with him, and she says yes, but not tonight. He feels a bit rejected until I tell him his girl was going to be taking my girl around New York the next day because she would be leaving the next night.

Later, Lupin, a girlfriend of his, and I return to the Pool. The girl is a huge flirt and when she wants something, goes and gets it, which I find really sexy. Lupin tells me I am free to game her, so I try a bit. She flirts with me a bit, but she is obviously more interested with Lupin. I take it as a challenge, but can't step up my game enough. By the end of the night, she grinds with me a bit. My gum dies in my mouth and I go to throw it away, and the next thing I know, she and Lupin are leaving because she is crazy horny. So that's what spiking buying temperature looks like.

Before that, however, I was wandering around and found a gorgeous, seated Korean girl. I said she looked bored, introduced myself, and sat down. She was waiting for her friend she said. When her friend returns, we three talk a bit and things go fine. I tell them I want to look for my friends and that I'll be back.

Lupin and his girl are dancing, but we soon sit down. Just behind us, behind a plane of glass, are the two Korean girls now being hit on by a bald guy - probably a PUA. My target goes to the bathroom and I go in to invite the guy and the friend to hang out with Lupin and I. She says she'll wait for her friend to get back, so I rejoin Lupin. When her friend gets back, I reenter the set, but they do not want to change location. I simply stay in and eventually number close, though she later flakes.

Another night, Rufio invites me to an art exhibition. It is cool, but we are lazy and do not sarge much. We exit the place, then decide to stop being lame. We go back inside and sarge. I am not sure how he does, but I feel like pretty crappy. Still, I number close a bunch of people and have some good conversation. I also get blown out epically.

I am speaking with one artist with an adorably humongous smile. I point to something on the wall and she tells me it is her friend's work. I go over and talk with her friend (another Korean for God's sake) who very quickly accuses me of being a sexy Indian guy. She says several lines about having sex with me as she touches my stomach and back, and I, in my tired and choded-out state, suddenly snap to attention. Sex? What? OK! I did not realize until too late that she was throwing a huge shit test at me. Boom! Blow out! I walked away feeling shitty and amused at the same time. I was still taking myself too seriously.

Rufio and I then meet up with Lupin in the Lower East Side at Spitzers. As we leave the subway, Rufio looks over and notices two girls who he had seen at the art exhibit. What a coincidence. Thanks to some smooth persuasion by Rufio , the girls come with us.

At Spitzers, I meet Bob, a fellow PUA who Rufio had talked a lot about. We finally find Lupin as well and I watch him work one of the girls that came to Spitzer's with Rufio and I. Lupin transforms into a complete flirt when he is with girls. He eventually wanders off to relocate a girl he had just met. Later, he tells me that in front of her, he opens a four set of 10s. Lupin is turning into a monster at Pick Up.

One of the girls, the artist, takes a liking to me. For some reason, she begs me to tell her about Quantum Mechanics - why she thought I knew anything about the subject, I do not know. back in high school, I had read a bit about the topic, so I explained it to her. By the time I finished, she had the Doggy Dinner Bowl Look on her and she announced that her next painting would be about the Wave-Particle Duality. That's cool.

Eventually, she kept hinting that she wanted to go back to my place with me. Awesome. We start talking about food and she says she will cook Spanish food for me. When I mentioned that I am hungry and want to leave, she asks if I mean for her to come back to my place to "cook." I say yes, and she tells her friend that she's leaving. Her friend gives her a sour face and says that they are waiting for friends to arrive. Two sets are always tough to break up.

Anyhow, I am really hungry, so I bounce with Bob. Maybe I could have gotten laid, but although I really like my Spaniard Artist, she is not completely my type physically, so I am not in a rush to sleep with her - just hanging out with her was cool enough for tonight. Maybe we'll get together to "cook" some other time.

Bob and I get some falafel and Lupin later joins up. He takes us to a party that turns out to be lady-sparse, so we book it. Bob heads back to Long Island and Lupin and I grab some food. Behind us sit a Scottish girl and her friend. With some hesitation, I open her, I forget how. She sees Lupin's food and comments on it, but when he responds, she mishears and thinks he is saying something sly about her accent. She gets pissed off and that's that. After ten minutes, I tell her we didn't mean to offend her and she instantly warms up and starts talking with us again. Pretty cool.

Saturday night, I go out to several places - first to a friend's house party, then to the Pool, then that burger bar, then Max Fix, then Pianos, but I am blown out of everywhere. Do I get a pat on the back for persistence? At the time, however, I was totally bumming about my rough night.

I am invited to a house party somewhere else by Rufio , so I texted my Korean one-itis about it. She says she just arrived home from a movie and needs sometime to get ready. I go to the party, but she never texts back that she's coming. The next day, she texts me apologizing for falling asleep.

By the time I arrive at the party, I felt like a flaming wad of lameness - talk about being out of state. It is cool to see Lupin, Rufio , and some other PUAs having an awesome time though; I've never been able to let loose and go crazy at a party like they were doing tonight. In the past, whenever confronted with others having a total blast, I would wither into a shy ball of nothing. However, the knowledge that I am on a path of change, that the little anti-social guy I was in high school is no longer a big part of me, and that I will soon be rid of all traces of chodeness, allowed me to enjoy the night, even though my energy was so low.

In the past several weeks, I've been feeling increasingly creepy and miscalibrated. Before all this Pick Up stuff, the knowledge that I was a big weirdo really hurt my self-esteem - a limiting perception if there ever was one. Over the years, I have tried to be less creepy, but in the past week, I've been feeling like I've been going backward. Perhaps it is because I have been putting myself out there more, mixed in with the fact that recently I haven't been going out as much. Add to it the fact that nearly all my numbers flake. Ugh.

There have been times when I am in set with a friend and I say something totally miscalibrated. My friend will say things like: "Sparrow doesn't mean that." "He's just saying that because he thinks your cute." That shit totally pisses me off - not only being miscalibrated, but being critiqued on it too, simply because I find it so embarrassing. I try my best to take it in stride though because having someone to critique you in set is invaluable even if on the inside, I find the criticism jarring.

What is more painful than the commentary is when I am miscalibrated and a friend says nothing but simply gives me a concerned glance as if to say, "Sparrow...what the fuck?"

The fact that I let these things get to me, however, is a sign that I am taking myself way too seriously. This is a game and I am making silly mistakes; next time I will just laugh at it. So what if I come off creepy? That's kind of funny. Besides, next time, I'll be a little better. Weirding out people is OK - they will survive.

I feel awkward discussing these issues publicly, to be honest. If I were reading this blog, I might only want to know about the adventures a person has as he progresses.

MasterP is 24 and says that a year ago, he had hardly even touched a girl. He says he would be so nervous talking in front of people that he would stutter. He says he had zero confidence. I look at MasterP and cannot believe what he says about his past - today he is super-confident, totally smooth, has girlfriends and lays.

Lupin is quite the natural. He is a confident dancer, busting out crazy moves he learned as a teen watching MTV - awesome. When he is in-set, his persona completely changes and becomes ultra-playful, ultra-animated. It's very cool to watch.

Rufio is an extremely chill, artsy dude who radiates "nice guy." Due to his background, he has difficulty being sexual, but when he does it, no one suspects. Either way, he is immensely good at pick up, but more so at generally being a cool guy everyone likes.

It is easier to see where a man stands now than where he stood before. Strauss documents his adventures in The Game, but in this blog, I particularly want to chronicle my failures - where I came from. I want people to see the change that is possible.

There are plenty of "American Dream" stories where a kid goes from nothing to everything. These people strike me as super-confident, super-willful people who were dealt a difficult hand in life - these guys seemed to already have the qualities necessary to be successful. However, I was always more curious not about how one becomes successful, but about how one develops the qualities that make success possible.

Now, I am re-watching Tim's Flawless Natural, which really motivates me. I've decided to shadow him as he speaks - repeat after him, mimic his gestures and facial expressions, walk around, imitate his intonation and energy. Isn't that so weird that I am doing this? I think so. I am past the stigma of being weird though, so whatever.

This past week, I've felt like a mega-chode, but I have also had so many recent successes. It is easy to forget when confronted with a night of failures. Tim asks the question in his DVDs, Which is more instructive - a bad night or a good night? The answer is the good and the bad are equally instructive - so both should be treated indifferently. What is more, as time goes on, your bad nights become better. Weeks ago, my worst night out was at Webster Hall where I was so obviously dying from approach anxiety that a girl, out of pity, kissed me on the cheek and offered to help me open women. Now, my bad night involves being blown out of ten sets, trying to day two a girl I kino'ed the hell out of, then bouncing to a house party and grinding with a girl from Bulgaria. I can settle for that as a bad night.

So I have been weird and creepy, so I have been getting blown out like nuts. These failures are OK. I should laugh at them, extract the lessons from them, and move on. The only thing that is not OK is to chode out and do nothing.

FR#24: My First Kiss as a PUA

Date: 2009-11-06 Friday

Place--House Party, Anchor, Cheap Dive Bar, Duane Reade, Subway

Time--05:00

---

I have found my new apartment and all that remains is to sign the lease. Friday night, I am invited by a Chinese friend to the apartment of one of her language partners (语伴 she calls them, though as her language partners, he sometimes feel more like her 语婊 - language bitches!).

Tempus, a PUA I met on the mPUAForum chat room, wants to go sarging Friday as well, so I invite him to come hang with my Chinese and Sinophile friends - Party Crashing 101.

I have not seen any of these guys forever and, eager to try out my fledgling PUA skills, I sarge everyone in the room. I am glad to see that Tempus can hold his own, so I game some of the Chinese girls I hadn't met before. One girl warms up to me particularly well, and I number close her. One other Chinese girl number closes me, but as soon as I give her my number, she flings her hair around and walks away. Was she looking for validation?

Tempus and I then head out to meet with his friends/family at a club called Anchor. We do a couple sets there - in one set, I hook then eject when I run out of dialog. Sorry Gunwitch.

After perhaps twenty minutes in Anchor, we leave for a bar called Cheap Dive Bar. Tempus and I both have to use the restroom, so we immediately head to the back of the bar. Sitting outside the bathrooms is a two set of pudgies. These pudgies are very fiesty though and I joke with them a bit before going to the bathroom.

When I come out, Tempus is hooked in the set and there's another pudgie who joined. This girl wears a tube top with massive cleavage which she uses as a cell phone and camera holster! I Facebook her because she's awesome and I roleplay the whole set so that the closest pudge is my niece. She is Polish and I am not terribly attracted, but I don't know how to eject gracefully with Tempus still there. Oh well, let's just have fun with this, I tell myself.

After fifteen minutes, though, I start dropping innuendo with the Polish girl and begin kinoing - Am I becoming attracted to her? Yeah, I am. I escalate so naturally and in retrospect, I am a bit surprised. I feel so comfortable; I am not intimidated. It's not, What do I do? It is, What do I want? The answer is: Her.

RSD's Tim talks about this principle in his Flawless Natural - not "What do I do?" but "What do I want?" - though at this point, I had not seen his videos. This principle arises naturally once one becomes comfortable - and as Tim puts it, the Pick Up ceases to feel so mechanical.

Eventually, we start making out. I try to go home with the girl, but I have no apartment and I just do not want to go back with her to Brooklyn.

After an hour, Tempus leaves and I leave soon after. I'm in this awesome state, not buzzing or anything, but just comfortable with myself. Never have I felt like that, nor have I felt like that again since that night.

On the way to the subway, I stop at Duane Reade and hit on the cashier. We flirt for about 15 minutes and I number close.

On the subway, I get more numbers, then arrive home. Awesome night.

FR#23: How to Sarge Your Optometrist

Date: 2009-11-04 Wednesday

Place--LensCrafters, Fung Wah Bus

Time--00:30

2 Approached

1 Hooked

0 Closed

---

Without an apartment lease lined up, I decide to leave Massachusetts early and return to New York. Before I leave, though, I have an optometrist appointment.

This is the first time I've been to LensCrafters. I walk into the back of the store for my appointment. Adjacent is a room behind glass and I can hear a woman and a man bantering. They come out as I check in and the man - probably a pharmaceutical representative - walks past. The woman, I discover, will be my optometrist for the day.

She leads me into an examination room and I tease her about how that cute man was hitting on her. She grins and looks at my appointment chart. When she sees my last name, she asks me if I am related to Doctor X. I ask her if I look like I'm related and then start talking to her about her high school, which I had overheard her talking about with the drug rep. I tease her as she examines me, which makes this the most fun doctor's appointment of my life, not to mention the fact that her bedside manner is awesome.

When we come out, the doctor asks me again if I am related to Doctor X. I tell her that Doctor X is my father and her eyes light up. My father takes on tons of medical students, but sometimes he has high school students who shadow him as well. Apparently, this Optometrist was one such high schooler! My dad returns and he's delighted to see her after all these years.

I hope one day I can help and influence the lives of people like my parents have. I decided long ago to never be a doctor - my parents scared me away from the profession - but there are other ways to contribute to humanity.

Later, as I am in line for the Fung Wah Bus, I open a Latina with dyed hair, fake fingernails, and a stylish bent. We chat and I sit one seat in front of her, but I simply cannot make her invest and the conversation dies. Kino is massively important, but conversation is tantamount. This area is my major sticking point.

FR#22: Sleaze-Balls, Underage Women

Date: 2009-11-02 Monday

Place--NY Metro, Boston T, North Station

Time--00:30

3 Approached

3 Hooked

2 #Closed

---

Here's the deal:

I find an apartment by a sleaze-bag broker, but whatever. I go back to Boston to see my parents and get their guarantor signatures. This is why all of a sudden I am in Boston.

Tuesday, we get the lease and it is fifteen pages of legal bullshit. I read it and there are several problems. I call up Mr. Sleaze-Bag and he tells me not to worry about it - to just sign it. No! Click! Phone off and Wednesday I am off to New York again to find a new place.

But I am getting ahead of myself. Monday, on the way to Boston...

I grab an early metro train to the Manhattan Chinatown. Two seats away is a hooded cutie with her hair brushed over her face. A movie plays in my mind:

"You're hiding your face." I would say as I sit next to her. I would brush her hair from her face.

"You're stunning." Fluff.

But around me are twenty other people who all seem to be watching me fidgeting in my seat, watching my eyes flicking back and forth toward this girl.

Her stop does not come for the most anxious thirty minutes of my life.

I transfer trains and beside me sits a cougar. Ugh, but the AA has built momentum. I exit the subway a stop early and yell as I come above ground. I bruise my fists against trees, fences, and bricks. People regard me with caution.

As I walk toward Chinatown, I ask maybe eight people for directions. I feel better, though my knuckles still throb.

I buy my Fung Wah bus ticket and start running around China looking for stuff to eat. One lady sells me "vegetarian" dumplings. Since when are shrimp vegetables? I try to eat it, but I can't.

I get on the bus. I hadn't slept so that I could make the early bus, so I fall asleep instantly and wake up in Boston. On the T to South Station, I ask a cute little Chinese girl for directions. She turns out to be 21 and we're going the same way. She is not so pretty, but I give her sex eyes and kino which throws her into gooey, melting fits of giggles - she has probably had zero romantic attention from guys, so I am glad that I am making her day. She also keeps saying these ridiculous things in Chinese, for example, "That, that, that, that..." which is the Chinese high school girly-girl version of "Uh"...and she keeps saying, "You are so that thingie something thing!" which I guess translates as, "You are cool"?

I arrive at North Station and run away from my groupie. When I come out of the bathroom, I see this girl standing in the station dancing around a bit while reading. "I like your dance. What do you call that one?"

Her name is Samantha, she is 17. I tell her things like, "So, what are we going to name our pet llama?" and she gives me the DDBL. (Thanks to Psychotic_Rave on the mPUAForum chat.)

We chat for nearly thirty minutes until my train arrives. The girl seems very mature - she decided to home school (instant 2 points on the hotness scale) and she talks about cool stuff, so I number close her. I wish after talking with her for ten minutes, I had taken her hand and pulled her out of the train station for an impromptu make out session - hey, it's not sex.

I end up calling her on the way back to New York on Wednesday. I tell her we'll hang out when I return to Boston sometime. I'd love to have an MA girlfriend, and for this girl, I wouldn't mind waiting until she is 18.

On the train, I see a cute red head and sit behind her. I completely AA and decide to give up until a lightning bolt hits me. I wave my hand at her because she's wearing headphones. "How long to my stop, red head?"

"Uhh, let me see." Very quickly, I ask if I can sit next to her. I tell her that her and I would never work out. I say that Massachusetts is so beautiful and that I would love to take a helicopter over the forests sometime. That would be expensive though, so I tell her we would split the costs and fly around together. Our helicopter's name is Bob. Number close.

I arrive home. I try to sarge my cat (Did you see those two girls fighting outside?), but he rejects my kino and runs away. Can't win them all.

FR#21: Ghost Town Sundays

Date: 2009-11-01 Sunday

Place--Houston & Broadway

Time--04:00

12 Approached

5 Hooked

1 #Closed

---

Wow, it has been a busy week and a half. Here it is:

After yesterday, I do not feel like sarging at all...again. I procrastinate by hanging in the mPUAForum chat room. Finally, I announce to everyone I'm leaving to sarge - social pressure and all that - so now I have to go.

On the platform for the E/F train, I see an Asian family. Two of the women are ridiculously hot. They single-handedly (double-handedly?) redefine my rating scale. They aren't the hottest ever, but definitely 9s. One of these girls is a 9.5, but sort of timid. The other, maybe less hot, is playing with two kids and seems super confident - which just about makes her a 10.

On the platform to the 6, I sit next to a blond 7.5 and ask if this is the downtown platform. "You have a pretty accent. Where are you from?"

"Germany." We fluff, and ass we do she pulls up her knees onto the seat. After a moment, I mirror her (NLP stuff). We chat for several minutes, then get on the subway together. She is pretty awesome - a journalist who hardly makes any money, which is somehow sexy. I forget to sex up my eye contact, but we hit it off until...her stop suddenly comes. No number close!

I leave the subway and the streets are dead. I see a black girl 8 with a funny cap at the ATM. I decide not to sarge a girl while she's withdrawing large sums of money. Lucky for me, she finishes up quickly and we're walking down the same sidewalk. I slow down and tell her, "That's a funny hat you've got." She's an actress from England with a man's name. I accidentally neg her about that, but whatever. We talk for a while and suddenly she says, "I'm going this way," which was my cue to say, "You're cool, let's catch up over coffee sometime." Instead, I said good-bye.

I walk up to St Marks Pl, then to Union Sq Park. Hardly anyone is on the streets. I just get back on the subway. There's a three set - two girls, one guy. Both girls have dyed hair, but one has it particularly crazy. "They still have Halloween parties on Sunday?" She glares at me. I wasn't being sarcastic either. We fluff, but she isn't the hottest girl and can't handle the teasing. I still need calibration. No hook.

Switch trains and a black lady sits next to me. I'm going through Chinese note cards and come across a question. I turn to her. "Do you know Chinese?" She is confused. "Lots of black girls are learning Chinese these days. What's up with that?" She hooks. She's 22 with a seven year old. I can tell she needs some excitement in her life.

Her mom calls and I am not riding the subway anywhere in particular, so I decide to get off. I pull out a pen, point to my arm, close.

On the opposite platform, I approach the first cute girl I see. "Can you read me this number. She wrote it freaking upside-down." After her, I sarge some more - all no hooks.

I walk toward Lincoln Sq Rooftop Lounge, see people gathered outside of a doorway with green-lit escalators leading up. Upstairs is a club that's pretty dead. I open a gorgeous, tall, black woman inside who is polite, but unresponsive. I walk over and chat up the bartender for a long while and we get good rapport.

I then head over to the Lincoln Sq Rooftop Lounge, but it is closed on Sundays apparently. Time to hit the subway.

A Japanese girl on the subway platform smiles dreamily into the distance. "What's that smile about?" Jazz performance. I accuse her of being Korean and she leaves.

In the subway, a couple sits across from me - both black. On the far side is a blond woman keeps glaring at the couple. I make eye contact with her and she erupts and yells something unintelligibly in a British accent. Eventually, I go over and sit by her and ask her what the hell is going on. She tells me that some pimps go around saying other girls are their prostitutes for free advertising. She apparently had been singled out? Her stop comes quickly and she poofs.

As I walk over to my old position, I notice this Eastern European-looking guy who is giving me DDBL. Whatever, I'll open a guy. We start chatting and hit it off really well, but I'm hoping to hell he doesn't kino. I tell him that I'm leaving in two stops - I'm curious to see if he has the balls to number close me. He doesn't.

Finally, I'm home. Yay.

FR#20: My First Halloween

Date: 2009-10-31 Saturday, Halloween

Place--Houston & Broadway

Time--04:00

11 Approached

3 Hooked

1 #Closed

1 @Closed

---

It's been two days since Halloween.

I call Lupin and plan to meet him for street game at the Houston and Broadway intersection in lower Manhattan. As I hang up, I feel a certain distaste settle in the pit of my stomach. The thought of sarging leaves me weak. Last night went fine, so why? But I agreed with Lupin, so I have to. Anyway, it's Halloween - I ought to go out.

I step on the subway with a red head 7. I feel AA creeping up, so I spit out something about how I like her costume. She says she's a southern barmaid...or something? The conversation dies quickly.

Two Japanese men enter the subway. I tell one of them I like his dreads. It turns into a twenty-minute conversation.

I transfer and talk with a girl on the platform. She has some nice clothes - I ask her if she's dressed as a hipster for Halloween (she doesn't look like a hipster at all). She gives me a sly smile and says, that's how she usually dresses. Polite blow outs - got to love them.

I meet up with Lupin and we grab some coffee before sarging; I had hardly slept and badly needed the caffeine. In two weeks, I will have my own place in midtown Manhattan and will finally be able to sleep well - no longer will I be woken by a certain temper tantrum-throwing, crotch-punching, computer-stomping roommate.

After coffee, we play Alternating Point and Shoot. Lupin gets hugs and numbers, I mostly get girls trying to get the frack away from me. Ah, the feeling of weakness leaving the body.

One girl who is a gorgeous mixture of black and white opens up enough to tell me she's with her mom. Doh.

I cross a street and see an Asian girl dressed as Quail Man from Doug. That is so dorky, I cannot possibly feel AA. Strangely enough, earlier that day I had been listening a couple of songs from the same show on YouTube. I open the set and fluff for 15 minutes. The second girl is Little Red Riding Hood - a model and actress. I tell them that my friend and I might head to a party tonight and they're interested. I number close the girl. It'd definitely be cool to see these girls later at that party.

Later, when I call back, she asks if I am at the party. I did not go because I could not afford the $50 cover, so when I told her I was back in Queens, she asked, "So, why are you calling me?" Sniffle. Well, it goes both ways - it certainly could be that I promised a party for a number too. Oh well...

After a while, Lupin and I head back to grab some food before the party. That's when I find out about the cover. I'm happy for Lupin that $50 cover is not a problem for him. Maybe one day it'll be that way for me - I wonder if that day comes, will I still turn my nose up at such an expensive party?

Sleep deprived and emotionally beaten, I decide to head back rather than continue the street sarge.

On the subway home, I sarge a beautiful Bangladesh girl. I am seated, she is standing next to me. I open her with something like, are you coming from a party? We fluff and when the adjacent seat opens, I invite her to site. She does. We talk until my stop comes and I give her a pen and offer her my hand. She writes down her e-mail. I was so tired that by the time I reached home, I had forgotten about the e-mail written on my hand. The next morning, I transcribe the info, but I'm missing the numbers at the end. Too bad - she was an 8.5 and nice to talk with.

I've decided the tick marks thing doesn't quite cut it. I am forgetting too much of each set - so I will keep simple notes in my notebook.

FR#19: When in Doubt, Escalate

Date: 2009-10-30 Friday

Place--Subway, Union Square, Lincoln Sq Rooftop Lounge

Time--05:00

17 Approached

7 Hooked

---

I head into the city to check out my new apartment. On the way to the subway, I see this Asian girl walking ahead of me who is my age. She is shepherding two kids - her cousins. The girl glances back at me a few times, so I open her. I feel weird gaming her in front of the kids, so I do not try to number close.

On the subway, I sit next to an attractive Dominican lady in her early thirties. After ten minutes of AA, I ask her what book she is reading and we flow easily into conversation. I kino her arms and thighs with zero resistance. I get very flirtatious and sexual with her and she likes it. Suddenly, I realize my stop is here. I got so caught up that I did not number close her!

I check out my apartment, then head to Union Square. I sarge several more people whom I cannot remember - they must've blown me out very fast. I approach, try to say something, but few of the sets open, let alone hook. After the approach the girl will generally start walking faster to escape. I figure I am coming off as needy or threatening.

I have begun keeping a set tally in pen on my wrist.

I go buy a bottle of water and as I am leaving the super market, I see a girl at the photo development desk. She is very cute, but I AA and pass her by. I walk out, but after a few steps, I turn about, head back in, and approach her and get blown out after a few exchanges.

I head down to St Marks Pl as I do more sets. I'm feeling hungry, so I enter the pizza shop there. I see two girls eating inside and approach. "I'm picking you guys up."

"Haha, all right!"

"Your bidding on us?"

"Bidding? Do I look that rich to you? No, I'm picking you up. So, what are you waiting for? Reject me." [I should have teased her. "You guys are on sale? I'm not sure I would shell out the money to buy both of you - I'd have to get to know you guys first!"]

"What? We're not going to reject you." We fluff for a while until they mention they're both seventeen.

"Woah, you guys are a bit too young for me. I totally thought you were older. Well, I guess you guys are getting rejected."

"Really? Wow, that has never happened to me before."

"First time for everything. Have a good night, ladies."

It is funny how when I think back to this set, all I remember is that these two girls towered over me.

I head outside and see a mixed five set with one cute Asian girl. I have an urge to open them in a weird way, but I can't muster the courage. Something like, "Yo, what's up everyone. [I turn to the girl.] I'm hitting on you right now. I plan on ignoring your friends because they aren't very sexy. By the way, is this guy your boyfriend? He's not violent is he? Does he have a gun? What about a knife? Okay, awesome - I'm still hitting on you then."

By 8:30 PM, I reach about ten sets. It's time to head to the Lincoln Sq Rooftop Lounge.

I go in, and as I'm walking towards the balcony, an HB9.5 talking with a Black guy gives me the hottest eye contact I've ever experienced. I just keep walking though and find Gman. I tell him about the EC and he encourages me to open them, advising me to befriend and disarm the guy first.

I introduce myself to the guy, while I give the girl some light eye contact. I end up ignoring her for the most part. She is smiling at me and is still giving me crazy eye contact, but with the boyfriend right here, I do not feel so comfortable. Finally, we eject, but not before I find out that they are regulars here. Hopefully, by the next time I see this girl, I will have grown a pair!

Gman and I hang out near the bar when I spot a cute brunette. I get the courage together and approach. She turns out to be a waitress and she has the strangest dynamic. She talks with me in a tone that is almost cold, yet she opens easily and we start talking. I am struggling conversationally, though, so I eject. I have prescribed to Gunwitch's mantra, "Make the ho say no," which is great in theory, but I have difficulty applying it.

Suddenly, a beautiful brunette dressed as a devil walks into the club. She's tall and looks like Kristen Bell. She scans the bar for her friends and I go in. She is super friendly and I invite her to hang with Gman and I if she cannot find her friends.

At 9:30, MasterP arrives and I go downstairs to meet him. When we join up with Gman, the devil comes back and we talk. The talking is stalling, but she is easygoing and tolerates my interrogation-esque conversation style. She goes off again and will later return to say good bye. When she does, I try to number close her, but she resists and leaves the lounge.

I am considering buying a voice recording key chain thing to hang around my neck. I would like to remember better how I talked with these girls because after a day's time and a dozen approaches, the details begin to fuzz. Having the recording would give me an idea of how I present myself - I really need to order one soon.

Gman's brother - V - and his friend arrive. V's friend is a sweet guy, but he's not really bought into all this PUA stuff. V, on the other hand, impressed me. He was the one that got me into some of my good sets this night.

After some chatting, V opens a seated two set (respect) - a 5 and an 8. Gman nods at me. "Sparrow, go help out my brother!" I jump into the set without thinking or AAing.

On my way over, I notice Gman is talking with the 5. I figure he is trying to disarm the friend, but he is in for one hell of a fight. This girl is like Fort Knox - as cold and interesting as a cube of ice.

I saddle up next to the 8, which is the only place left to sit in the set, and try to give V some isolation. The 8 turns out to be cool, and I start picturing us fucking to get into state. I begin kinoing her arms and lower thighs. Before long, I pull back her hair a bit. "Your earrings are huge. They look heavy!" It was a retarded comment, but she doesn't seem to mind. Instead, she turns her head to let me touch her. We fluff as I move closer so my legs are against hers with my arm resting on her shoulder.

She is half-Black, half-Italian, and I tell her that her hair has an interesting texture and begin stroking it as we talk. She smiles and comments on my hair as she plays with it. I drop a few really sexual comments between topics as I tug on her hair at the base of her scalp. At the time, I couldn't believe what I was getting away with, but now I know I should have escalated much further. Remember, always choose caveman over chode. Just go for it.

Suddenly, I look over and V is getting up. Gman had come over earlier and had also gotten blown out by the 5, so now it's just the three of us. I try to pull the 5 into the conversation a bit and she lightens up, but I am afraid I will lose the set if I don't get isolation. I try to jump the girls to somewhere else in the room, but they aren't moving, so I get up to enlist MasterP for isolation.

We return and he gets blown out. In retrospect, I should have just grabbed the Italian and made out with her. I had gotten so attached to her, but was stupidly afraid of ostracizing her friend. Her friend had seen us all coming from a mile away and was dead set on being close-mouthed.

Finally, I roll off the set and meet James, a PUA and friend of MasterP. Gman then points to V and tells me to help him out with a girl.

The girl is an Indian 9. V stalls and ejects as I talk with her. I'm afraid I keep stealing V's sets, but I really don't mean for him to keep ejecting. We fluff for a while, but when I start to feel the conversation stall, I eject and rejoin my half-Italian 8. I was committed to going far with her, not to mention the Indian chick and I were in direct view of my half-Italian.

At a loss in terms of isolation and moving the girls, I excuse myself and go look for Gavin. He's outside with two chicks and two guys who look like bouncers. One guy tells me he's the older brother of the brunette and that he'll beat up anyone who hits on her. I assure them that she is safe for me, then start hitting on her.

Gavin and I work the set. I am interested in the brunette, but the blond won't have it and starts to kino me a lot. At the time, I was too into it to work the set intelligently. I should have ignored and negged the brunette to get her attention. At the same time, I should have given the blond attention while making her a friend and not a sexual interest.

Eventually, a couple of AMOGs come in and try to steal the girls from me. I hold my ground for about ten minutes, but one of them is an HG 8.5 and a total natural. Eventually, I try to get the blond to come out and dance with me, but I get AMOGed out of it. I exit and talk with MasterP who tells me to go get the brunette's number. I go in and fail! She number closes me, which I won't ever let happen again. If a girl ever asks for my number, I will reverse roles by telling her that I am afraid of being stalked.

I come out and rejoin the Italian and she starts getting really warm with me. I get a phone call, run outside to take it, but when I come back, the two girls are gone. At the time, I thought it was the 5 who pulled her friend away. While that may be true, I now know that the 8 had probably grown impatient waiting for me to man up and escalate all the way.

Gman eventually leaves for a hot date at another lounge. MasterP, James, and I talk for a bit and open a few more sets, then leave.

On the street, MasterP and James talk with me about my expectations for myself. "Sparrow, what is your goal in terms of by when you want to get laid?" asks MasterP.

"By tomorrow night," I reply curtly with a smirk. He suggests I tell myself that I will definitely get laid by my 23rd birthday - a year and a half from now. MasterP is right that my mindset is making me come off needy and that a more powerful and lasting goal is a longterm one - after all, there are plenty of woman out there and only one of me. As long as I keep practicing, my game will improve and the sex will come.

Intellectually, I agree with this, but I cannot help wanting to get the kiss and the sex. As I write this entry, though, I feel that as exciting as kissing and sex are, meeting all kinds of people, having cool conversations, and becoming socially savvy are actually more appealing. Of course, as I write this, I do not have a pretty girl gazing into my eyes with her hand on my thigh.

MasterP and I part ways with James and we go grab some food. As we eat, we talk about theory and walk around. Finally, we say good night. I am immensely lucky to have met so many experienced PUAs in New York.

MasterP leaves me some homework.

1. Put together three long stories that I can tell someone.

2. Sign up for Improvisational Comedy classes at UCB.

3. Get down 20 non-interrogation questions to ask a girl. MasterP will send me these.

Okay, I'll do it.

On the subway, I sarge a bit. In particular, I hook this cool black chick that is training to be a speech therapist. Unfortunately, I am not able to get anywhere with her and I can't remember where I went wrong - I haven't slept much between then and now. Probably I did not escalate kino enough or get her looking at me to give her smut eyes.

I get home. I can't wait to move to Manhattan.