This morning as I woke, my thoughts drifted to Neko. She is returning to Japan soon to get a student visa. Things could have been very different.
The last night I spent time with her, Potato, and Rufio could have been avoided. When I went to meet her at St Marks to bring her back to my place, she did not accept my hug. Frustrated, I rolled off. Juggler has a diagram in his book that shows one result of rolling off:
<----Guy...Girl----> becomes <----Guy................Girl---->
This happens when both parties still have separate frames. Pulling away may work when the girl has been drawn into your frame.
This mutual separation is precisely what happened with Neko and I. When she moved away, I moved away. I was thinking - shit, I need to punish her! I need to game her properly! Rather, I should have listened to my heart, my desire - my core purpose, as Tim from RSD calls it.
Imagine this: I try to hug Neko and she shrugs me off. I take her by the hips, spin her so her back is to me, give her a strong, big ass hug that she cannot shrug off, then pick her up and carry her to the end of the block.
Imagine that if she froze me out a little bit at my apartment, I made it obvious that I knew what she was doing, ruffled her hair, forced physical contact. Later, maybe pin her against the bed and tickle her, later pick a fight with her for no reason and wall slam her, pull her legs around my hips, then kiss her.
Who knows, but I feel it would have been much more effective, or at least much more fun, than the freeze out.
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