2010-02-11 through 02-16, Thursday through Monday
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THURSDAY - Two days after I met Her and the day after our first phone conversation.
Me: Just had a banana reminded me of you. Got a little wild had an orange too what up
Her: Dude, I just ate a bananna too. Wtfreak?
Me: O man stop stalking me with your mind it's creepy. I am craving s'mores but there are several problems
Her: The only problem with cravings is suppressing them, in my opinion. ["In my opinion" is rapport seeking language.]
Me: Not always so simple. Sometimes the issue is honey and gelatin ok you're distracting me if you want to continue this i'll be at [soho social lounge] tonight [She does not come out.]
Me: Don't mean to be rude babe but i have to finish this work [On our date she mentioned that my being busy is awesome.]
Her: I see...
Lessons:
I open to spark interest. I use any opportunity to accuse her of seeking rapport - she is stalking me. I break rapport by telling her that I am busy.
I should never invite a girl out without her first admitting that she wants to see me.
Of course, do not call a girl out on flaking - it is equivalent to attacking her and she will have to defend herself. That is not a good way to build attraction or comfort.
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FRIDAY
Me: I feel so awesome this morning. Maybe i'll have a banana [Brings her back to yesterday's humor. In improv class, I have heard that people enjoy callbacks just as people enjoy obscure references. It is like an inside joke, which creates the illusion of familiarity.]
Her: ..;..***(((d-.-b)))***..;,, Oh yeah! [What does this smiley face represent? lol]
[Much later.]
Her: Random interjections with long intervals of silence??? You're a political science major! [Major rapport seeking.]
Me: Was. I gave up diplomacy long ago. My majors are less polite now, though not as obtuse as i. I'm at moma and have no idea wtf is going on [Pick Up has pushed me to have small adventures and experience NYC more. Letting a girl feel that I am out doing interesting things is attractive, I hear.]
Her: I wonder if you meant that the same way as I took it...What's so weird @MoMA?
Me: I'll show you next friday
Me: Give me an idea [of] what i should cook hit me with a recipe
Her: Cooking isn't my strong suit, sorry. Fresh ideas for food... I've eaten the same thing every day for 4 months now.
Me: Better be damn tasty. When are you going to make it for me? I'll teach you some healthy cheap delicious recipes all super easy super quick
Her: It might bore someone who knows all those recipes, but why not?
Me: The way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Save me from my hunger [exxxotica]
Her: a) Exotica, not Exxxotica [Lol, I did not know how to spell her name.]
b) I've been lost in mens hearts for far too long, I'm taking a break
c) I wouldn't deny a hungry person nourishment, whatever the circumstances
Me: If you live in manhattan we'll do lunch tomorrow. P.s. My heart is closed to you so you cannot get lost.
Her: Ok, bye, I think. (When you're less busy, how smart are you? I'm developing my thesis for an application essay, I don't know anybody who could help)
Later
Me: So with you it's romance or nothing huh. I admit you're sexy but let's i
Me: But let's hang out a bit first
Me: Tell you what i help you with your thesis you cook me a meal we'll go from there
Her: Can you talk? You're being too evasive for text, its tedious on my part [Was I being evasive? Anyhow, she is obviously trying to feel me out. I give her a call. At one point, I say I agree to help her with her paper. She gives me her "I don't know if you're smart enough to help me with it" line. I tell her I'm offering to do her a favor and that she is being rude. Although I was joking, she does not realize it and begins apologizing. She says we might be able to meet for lunch, but it depends on her schedule.]
Me: Exotica i think i need to be more ambiguous in my texts. Confusion is sexy
Her: I finished the outline for my book!!!!! Seeing it all on screen is so surreal. Yaaay! [She is not being economic with her texts. Although was long ago obvious this girl likes me, inefficient texting is a sign of investment - that, or a sign the girl is a nerd.]
Me: Very nice. I owe you a vegan cupcake wait no a head of broccoli
Her: So, which book did you pick? [I had mentioned over the phone how I was at Barnes and Nobles.]
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SATURDAY
Me: Four hour work week
Her: Morning, cool, very nice.
Me: I am so excited for today you have no idea. Today is one of the best holidays ever invented [Use statements, but leave a lot unexplained. This allows for conversation without asking questions to continue things.]
Her: And which holiday is this???
Me: The spring festival i'm going to queens tonight to celebrate it with a friend's family. I'm going to get so fat
Her: Fat in happiness, not in physical mass. Have fun!
Me: 230 5th tonight i'll be there from 1130 [Sent later.]
Her: When is the rain date for our lunch? [Sent much later.]
Me: Tomorrow noon
Her: I guess it wasn't meant to be. I have ballet until 2:30. How are you otherwise?
Me: Guess not. Mon 6pm
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SUNDAY - Valentine's Day
Me: Exotica i'm free for dinner. It's good you do ballet i don't even associate w people who aren't flexible.
[Later]
Her: Valentines day-smalentines day.
Me: Sounds like a yes to dinner.
Her: [Particulars about how she is meeting a previous professor.] I'm free now, and actually pretty hungry, so... [3:26]
Me: I can meet you at 430 for japanese at st marks and 3rd. [I am testing her level of commitment: Will she wait an hour for food with me? She then calls me and says she heard of this vegan restaurant (I'm vegan-ish myself), so I agree to meet her there.]
Her: Maybe 10 mins behind or 5 mins early, I can't tell but I'm on my way.
I arrive five minutes late with two roses (five dollars) - one white, one red. It's Valentine's Day after all.I hear arriving a tiny bit late raises your value - she is there waiting, thinking about you. When you do show up, you are not late enough that she would be pissed.
The date goes well, though she talks nearly the entire time. This is a sign of affection, but I would have liked to control the conversation a little more. She is very flirtatious, talks about her past relationships as well as her sexuality, dreams, etc. I try to give her sexual eye contact, but cannot hold it through all her speaking.
Through a thick foliage of verbiage, I realized that this woman is something special. She has a head on her, though it sits upon her shoulders slightly askew: she reads profusely, but she gives the impression of being drunk with information. She tries to sound educated, using vocabulary that does not quite fit, as if to separate herself from African Americans and Latinas - whom she would never date. I do not mean to belittle her - on the contrary, she is overwhelmingly optimistic, overwhelmingly positive and inspiring. I still need to feel her out more, but if she congruent, she is the kind of girl I want to spend time with.
I once was frustrated with how women treat men - always prodding, shit testing, and looking for congruence. Now that I have a better idea of what I want in a girl, I realize that I have also begun to qualify girls and test for congruence naturally - at least when it comes to girls I am seriously interested in.
Later, we are outside the restaurant and I am throwing a lot of kino - which I was not able to do much of at dinner. I should have played footsies with her though. I use the "Are you in shape?" subject as an excuse to feel her up. She ends up asking me to punch her in the abs. She has a really hot body. Somehow, I end up squeezing her ass and she responds by being indignant and slaps my ass. "I've got to reciprocate." I return the slap and she says she doesn't like her ass getting slapped, though I bet she liked it.
I do not go for a kiss close or anything, but next time we will go on a date more on my terms:
Starbucks
Random stores
Korean or Jappanese appetizers
Wine Bar or Hotel Lounge for kino and/or makeout
My place for seduction
Next time, the gloves are off - blow me or blow me out.
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MONDAY
Me: I'm going to boston. You'll have to wait a few more days before you slap this sexy ass again
Her: If I truly suspect someone's going to touch my butt again without invitation, I wouldn't have a problem forgetting I met such a person. Thank goodness you're not like that, right? Boston Mass, did you ever see that [tv show] from Boston?
Me: A high school classmate of mine was in [tv show]. She was the hot blond i'm fasting today so hungry.
Her: Fasting for which purpose? [I was reading when I got this, but after an hour and a half, I check my phone, see this text, and give her a call. She does not pick up.]
Me: Explain over text? Tell you later.
Maybe fifteen minutes later, she calls me and we talk for a little bit. She has to catch her train and as I say good-bye, I start to say something else. Click. She calls back and says, "I totally didn't mean to cut you off. What were you saying?" I tell her, then tell her to go catch her train. She continues talking with me some more, saying she has some more time to talk. She tells me to call anytime. I tell her not to be late and say good-bye.
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TUESDAY
Me: It's good to be in the land of the eating once again. Life is to short to worry about small things my dad just said what small things do i still worry about probably too many!
Her: Go for the Kill, every single time. Small stuff is for the small-minded. Our parents often know best.
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Last week, after a long period of mutual silence, Neko called me several times times - even multiple times in one day - during her break, after work, before sleep, when she woke up. She wanted to see Avatar with me on Sunday. I told her to call me on Sunday. She did not.
I do not mind much - I do not expect her to follow through anymore. Maybe she wants me to show investment and maybe I should have called - after all, she did call me several times during the week. I am conflicted as to what I should do next time she calls about meeting on Sunday. Should I say I am busy? Should I show investment and call her on Sunday? I always think about Juggler's diagram of push/pull where the push just pushes the two parties farther away. Hum, I will call Neko about Sunday to show her some investment and see what happens. She is returning to Japan soon and I do not care much about the relationship anymore.
On a side note, when I return to New York, I will try to meet with Potato and escalate to a kiss with her.
Many other things happened in the past week, but I cannot remember much. I have been sarging nearly everyday - day game and night game. My other interests have suffered and it has left me feeling empty. The meeting with that black gay guy in the Masseuse Club left me missing my major. I want to get back to the other things that were important to me before Pick Up. What's more, if I am not doing what is important for me, I am an empty shell. Forget inner game, forget state pumpers, forget all that. The pre-requisite to Pick Up should be getting your life in order. I recommend this book: The 4-Hour Workweek
Another issue is that I have stopped feeling approach anxiety most of the time. Instead of AA, what prevents me from approaching beautiful women is an overwhelming sense of boredom when I am out sarging.
Before, I would always feel nervous before and during the approach - my heart would race even a little and I would become excited. Recently, whenever I go into a club, I just feel bored. I will open women, but the approach and the interaction do not excite me, and I have been told that I have been extremely low energy when in-set.
The solution:
-Focus on efficient and effective study of Pick Up.
-Allow time for myself - I should not feel responsible for the people who contact me through my blog. I am not a babysitter.
-Focus on myself, my life goals, and accomplishing them.
-Eliminate the bullshit in my life. If I had to pick one thing to do that would make today successful, what would it be? Do that one thing, then figure out what else needs to be done.
I have always had issues prioritizing and focusing on my goals, always had issues with time management, etc. These are some of the skills I wanted to learn with this year off from school, and I will learn them. I feel these past few months have led me to today.
I am also considering taking a second year off from school. If in the next month, I feel things are going well, I would love another year of freedom to explore creating some kind of business.
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