FR#61: Stranded at the Drive In - a Booty Call

=2010-03-19 Friday

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I call Mouse and tell her I'd like her to come over. She agrees. I pick her up at her dorm and we walk back to my place.

Again, she's sketching in one of my pads as we chat until I can't take it any longer. Something about how she draws just turns me on. I lean over, pick her up, and literally throw her onto the bed. She pulls me down onto her and soon enough our clothes are off.

After some time, I go for a condom. She grabs it and crumples it in my hand. I'm so frustrated! I begin thinking that she is just messing around with me to get validation or something. It's dumb; she clearly likes me. Maybe I've been acting childish and pushy about sex. Maybe that's where I am losing attraction?

I had it in my head from the community that I need to get past LMR as quickly as possible. Unless it's a ONS with a girl who you don't care about, it's fine to give the girl some time. Realistically, though, why should that happen? If you meet a girl that is sexy and cool enough for you to bring to your pad, hopefully you want her in your life in some capacity. Otherwise, sexing her is kind of gross, for me at least.

As we walk back to her dorm, it's obvious that I am really frustrated. Mouse stops me on the sidewalk. She takes my hand, pulls me to the side, and she asks me what's wrong. It was really sweet of her.

We chat for a bit. She says she really likes me, but she feels like I am sometimes really inconsiderate when it comes to sex. She asks yet again why I like her. I joke, "Gee, maybe it is because you're Asian." Now, for a lot Asian girls, this is probably a sore spot. Mouse, offended, says good night and walks away. I am tired of always trying so hard with Mouse, so I just let her go, which leaves me feeling like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch#!v=K2CfIK7R0ek&feature=related

When I get back home, we text back and forth. I get a phone call from Emma saying that Mouse had called her sounding distressed leaving me on the street. I call Mouse and we talk for a while about it and we come to some sort of peace.

Relationships are like traveling with another person. If one person doesn't want to move as fast, you have to slow down too. If you try to rush the other person along, it won't work.

My relationship with Mouse was characterized by my making all the moves. I did not let her decide that she was okay with moving things forward. I always put pressure on her. If I had relaxed, our relationship in general would have been better.

Also, notice that Mouse always would ask me why I liked her. I obviously did not give her enough reason for my advances. When a girl says or does something cool, let her know. You can go as far as saying, "It's cool how you are such and such. I find that really sexy."

The other thing that came through during this relationship was that I was egotistical about my ability to pick up girls, which is weird because I am not all that good at it. Your ego can hurt you a lot. Be careful.

Also, relationships are a great way to improve your game in general, especially in a relationship with a lot of communication. The girl is already committed. She would rather talk it out than walk away. You can learn a lot from the feedback you get.

Relationship management is about how to relate to people who have committed to you in someway - coworkers, business partners, family, friends, spouse. For this reason, try to get into relationships and try to learn from them as much as you can. Maybe you'll find, like I did, that the principles that make a relationship work are different applications of the principles that mean solid game in the field.